HaZ's Site

When exams are over, I seemed happy but maybe not. Friends would shout out 'Exams are OVER!' whereas I would only smile to them as they shouted. I seemed listless nowadays, having no idea why I feel this way. On the day of our last exam paper, the seniors had their graduation. Well,

Happy Graduation~ All the Best for your Os...

Happy Belated Birthday to Fangyi who turns SIXTEEN.

Happy 9th MTH Anniversary to haRbOr cRyptiC~ [I wonder if you still remember]

Until then, I shall end with this art layout [SA2 exam, by me] .. bottled emotions~

The household has gone mad for the past few days..
Elder sis has become irresponsible of her duties.
Mum has been busy..
Elder brother does his own thing; as usual...
Second sis can't handle the stress.. her promos [exams] starts tomorrow! but due to elder sis' lack of responsibility, second sis has to take care of them. What else..but babysit the two younger siblings and my niece.
The two younger siblings are always the tough bunch of kids..screaming, shouting & running; which can result in us; the older siblings having to shout at them just to keep them quiet.
And then, there's me. Constantly wondering why things can't always be the same~ Why everyone is running away from doing their own part?
End of year exams are coming in just 2 weeks. I can't focus on my revisions because the household is falling apart? I don't know..
I need to focus! I need to study! I can start slacking ONLY when the End of Year exams are Finally Over~ Only then, I can enjoy band again. Only then, I can be stress-free. Only then,
Singapore Youth Festival 2009 will be my first priority. How I wish that I will be well-prepared for the exams. How I wish that I am fully confident of myself when sitting for all the exams. How I wish that everything would go on smoothly. I don't want my thoughts to trouble me... thinking and thinking about exams. I fear this set of exams the most and then, O levels next year. It will determine my future. . .
If only, I could sleep for as long as I want and only wake up when I've rested enough. If only, I could take a break from life. Somehow, I still feel inferior to someone who took away what I have always wanted. . . It's just Unfair.. =/

HUMAIRA IS DISTURBING ME!~ =X                                     SEC 3 LEADERS FOR YEAR 2008-2009                                     The same old 4...                                                          BADGES~                                      KAWAI'S B'DAY GIFT TO ME~ xD





 THE NEW !





TRUMPET AND BATON !






CLARINET RAWKS !!!!!!!








Band is life! Band is great! but exams are coming. I have to STOP thinking about Band ~

I MISS MY FRENCH HORN !!!

I don't think I know you well..
maybe.. I just need to relax and stop worrying.. =/
problems are there to make me stress..
family, friends(?), studies..

It worries me like hell..
especially studies..
I'm trying hard, I am...
for every subject but english is THE subject that can ruin me.
I failed my english for CA2.
It bothers me, it's pushing me off the edge, it made me teared...
I fear the worse may happen but I can't predict the future...
I DON'T want to live with regrets..

I really need to STOP procrastinating MY study time!!!!!!!!!!! =(

Thursday 040908
EAST VIEW MILITARY BAND'S PASSING OUT PARADE!! xD
It was a blast. Although some posts made us upset, I'm sure that as time progresses, we will get over the matter.

I'm sure that by achieving Deputy Band Major, it will be twice as good as achieving Band Major.

Yes! Now it rings a bell.
''The Symphonic Beatles'' sounds familiar because the philharmonic winds have performed the song before. It was during the Beautiful Sunday concert where there was this very exaggerated conductor. His movements were as though he was going to fall off the stage...
And listening to this song brings back memories. Wait! I think it was the time when we had celebrated Hayati's birthday~ xDD
Haha!
Wow... I really missed that concert the most. =)

To me, you are a stranger.
I may hate you for whatever reason.
I don't think you're better than me.
You may think that you are better but you're not.
I'll prove you wrong. I may sound selfish... but I'd blame you cause
I may not have become this way if not for your actions...
I've always treated you fairly but.. you chose to do the opposite.

P.S I KNOW THAT IF WORSE COMES TO WORSE, I MAY DISLIKE YOU WHEN THE TIME COMES AND DON'T BLAME ME FOR I AM NOT AS STRONG ENOUGH.

I thought I could handle that amount of pressure but I was wrong..
Band was the first thing which made me angry.. due to some reasons which I won't elaborate.
I thought I could not play today because I still feel unwell.. But given my temperament at the time, I just played my instrument. Not to torture myself, neither was I worsening my health condition.
Somehow, after playing those marches, I felt better...in certain ways.

BUT what's bothering me so much?
      Which even I, myself, can't find an answer to.

An unexpected sickness came back to make me suffer again..
Asthma, that is..
When I thought that it would not act up, hoping that 3 years ago was the last, it did.
This time round, it made me feel very depressed having to deal with it yet again.
It had all started with flu, sore throat, coughs and now, asthma.
Every time I cough, the phlegm that comes out would always carry blood in it and my throat would be in pain for awhile. . =/
Anyway, I went to the doctor's today.. she said that it would be better if I was given two days MC and avoid going to band. Maybe I push myself too hard..

We had to do CIP today~ and guess what?
Another kind of charity run? LOL.
it was labelled as MILK Run... so the whole sec 3 level had to gather in school before boarding the respective buses to SINGAPORE RIVER for that event.
The event was filled with games, free drinks and live performances! xDD
Actually, we were supposed to run by 4:30pm but yiting and me decided to support PRCS Band instead~ =X ..my form teacher didn't know..
Eventually, by the time PRCS performed their last piece of music, some sec 3 EVS students had already reach the finish line.. then, yiting panic~ LOL. hahhas..
then, she begged her form teacher to give her the CIP bonus.. quite funny~ .. ;X

After that, we went back to school and I've decided to go cycling with Miegan and Charmaine. Straight after reaching school, we went home to take our bicycles out...
It was FUN.. going cycling with them.. jokes along the way with Miegan. . x)
It has been nearly a year without cycling? ~ I had an accident the other time; last year; was heading for tuition class but fell down while on the way there... I guess I was too clumsy~ =/
I think I fractured my pelvis? o.O ..had trouble walking. Also, cross country was nearing at that time but I still went for it and I came in last(?) .. =/
LOL. and now, I'm back on track!~
Thanks Miegan~ =D

That's all! TAKECARE~

I'm hiding something...
and i don't wish to tell anyone~
It's only time that I breakdown IF I start thinking again..
Different matters or issues; all stack up and stored in my mind...
Maybe I've told someone, maybe I have not. . .
I feel such a letdown sometimes...
But I guess.. I'm only happy on the outside~

I didn't think.. that giving them support and encouragement could make them change their mindset.

I didn't think.. that by influencing them and understanding them, I could get a better picture of what they want and need and also not forgetting, what they like and dislike.

It's really rewarding when juniors, who were on the verge of quitting, stayed because I listened to them and I am willing to do anything to help them.

What's more rewarding than a word of thanks from them? Nothing.

They say... 'leadership is influence' . Then, I suppose that even when I don't have leadership, I could still influence them...

This was something that I thought I couldn't do... but it turned out fine~

I'm touched... especially by Zafarah's words.. And also, the others who persevered..

All I can say is that... I will still help those juniors in need..
I know section leaders must only stay in their own sections but it's not wrong to help the others, right?

                                                                                                           ~HaZ